Here I am, 60 years old, and what have I accomplished?

In the shower this morning (where most big thoughts and good ideas come to life), that question came to mind.  I proceeded to answer it, and the internal conversation went about like this:

Q.  Here I am, 60 years old, and what have I accomplished?

A.  Accomplished?  Um...  

     Well, I've raised two children to functional adulthood.  That's gotta count for something.

Q.  Yes, okay, that's good.  What else?

A.  Um...

     I've made a decent living, lived a pretty comfortable life, reached some career milestones that were beyond my expectations.

Q.  Oookaay...  What else?

A.   Then there's music and writing:  books and blogs and poetry and songs written (and published), royalties earned, live singing performances to critical acclaim and wild applause.  How's that?

Q.  Critical acclaim & wild applause, huh?

A.  Hey!   I'll grant that they were small-town audiences with fairly low expectations, but you have to admit that...

Q.  Yeah, yeah.  Prosecution will stipulate to that effect.  Next?

A.  Okay, how about the people I've influenced for good?  That's my personal mission statement, after all: to influence people and organizations for good - to leave them better than I found them.  I've done that.  Not every single time, but.. pretty consistently that's the feedback I get.

Q.  Now maybe we're hitting on something truly useful.

A.  Ahhh.. so that's it.  That's what's behind your question.  What do you mean by "accomplishment", anyway?  What if that's not really the right question?

Q.  And the right question would be...

A.  Hang on, not so fast.  I'm thinking.

     Okay, there's that parable of the wealthy farmer with his barns, right?  Luke 12:16-21, where Jesus tells this story:

“A rich man had a fertile farm that produced fine crops. He said to himself, ‘What should I do? I don’t have room for all my crops.’ Then he said, ‘I know! I’ll tear down my barns and build bigger ones. Then I’ll have room enough to store all my wheat and other goods. And I’ll sit back and say to myself, “My friend, you have enough stored away for years to come. Now take it easy! Eat, drink, and be merry!”’

“But God said to him, ‘You fool! You will die this very night. Then who will get everything you worked for?' Yes, a person is a fool to store up earthly wealth but not have a rich relationship with God.”

So the point is, a person is not the sum of his/her accomplishments, any more than his/his self-worth consists in the abundance of possessions.  Right?  Whatever score people choose to keep in this life does not survive into the next life.

Q.  There's more to it than the negative, though, yes?  What's the positive side of that coin?

A.  Right, right!  It's Jeremiah 9:23-24.

"Thus says the Lord: Do not let the wise boast in their wisdom, do not let the mighty boast in their might, do not let the wealthy boast in their wealth; 24 but let those who boast boast in this, that they understand and know me, that I am the Lord; I act with steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth, for in these things I delight, says the Lord."

To understand and know the Creator, the King of the Universe... that's a life accomplishment that really matters.  All the rest flows from that.

Q.  Very good.  Nice talking with you this morning.  Have a nice day.

A.  Sure.  Drop by anytime.  Not just in the shower...

Communicating with God as an Introvert

My pastor preached today on Exodus 33 (where God "passes by" Moses in the cleft of a rock).  He expounded on several items, but his punch line was that an intellectual understanding of God is not the same as a personal encounter with God's presence (however muted).  I get that.

But what I don't get is whether or not such an experience of God on an ongoing basis (e.g. a relationship) should be different if you are an extravert than if you are an introvert.  At first glance, you might say no - that God's expectations and desire for us are the same regardless of our personality.  Okay, maybe.  But wouldn't that work itself out differently in daily life? 

My closest relationship in this life is with my wife.  She is an extravert, who has strengths (via Strengthsfinder 2.0 testing) of Communication and Harmony, among others.  So her natural bent is to want to be on the same page with me, and to achieve that through talking with me.  She needs that from me, so I strive to provide it to her.

On the other hand, my strengths are Strategic and Intellection, my core personality is introverted, so I have an active inner life and like to spend time there.  :)  I don't need as much communication or "same-page-ness" as does my wife; I can manage without a lot of external communication.  So, she strives to give me "space", so as to meet my needs for quiet reflection.  Over the years, by trial and error and with flexibility, we've figured out a rhythm that strikes a middle ground.

Now, extending this concept to a relationship with God, the first question I ask is this:  is God introverted or extraverted?  And what level of communication does God want from me as a result?  How can I do what pleases God in this area of relating?

God as an introvert or an extrovert?  Silly question, you may think.  God could hardly be either one, right?  In the world of Myers-Briggs, God must be right down the middle on each dimension.  I guess.  You can probably find examples in the Scriptures examples of God possessing all the Jungian types in perfect balance.

But what if that doesn't really matter?  Part of my pastor's point today was that God does not have needs in this relationship area that we can meet.  God is completely sufficient within, but offers relationship with us FOR OUR BENEFIT, not for God's.  God has our interests at heart  when it comes to relationship, and is not trying to meet a Divine felt need of some kind through relationship with us.

Does that let me off the hook a little?  Maybe.  I think it means that I don't have to worry about how much or how little or what kind of communication God desires, and my prayer life can be instead a natural extension of my personality.  I naturally don't crave communication with ANYONE, God included.  I naturally do communicate with God, though, as I naturally communicate with my wife and with others I encounter while living life.  But I don't crave communication, unless I have a question I want answered, an idea I want to discuss, an observation I want to make, or a plan I want to validate - which, from time to time, I do bring to God (or to my wife, or to a co-worker, or to a blog post...)

I've never been one for consistent devotional prayer times, morning or otherwise, even though some of the extraverts in the Scriptures (King David, for example) write of such things with passion and fervor.  My conversations with God are prompted not by disciplined habit or by a need to relate;  they are serendipitous, they are prompted by living life.  What I do is bring questions, ideas, observations, and plans to God and see what God night make of them, seeking either God's validation or correction - both are good!  So this little post is one of those observations/ideas, and in this moment as I type, I am relating to God, and God to me.  I can feel the blessing of relationship with God at times just like this.