The Confederacy of the Humbled

Well, it's been awhile, has it not, dear reader?  Nearly 6 months, if memory serves.  You may rightly ask "Have you been too busy to write?"  And I would say to you... yes, and no.  I certainly have had time to post something, but have honestly been trying to absorb my circumstances here - and that has kept me mentally and emotionally busy, such that what there was to say... wasn't clear.

Not that it's that much clearer now, but I am marking a sort of milestone - six months on the job - and as most of you know it's about the time when the learning curve has started to flatten and you have begun to understand things.  Life in the workplace was pretty stressful in those first 6 months, not to mention the personal life part and its stressors.

When I was contemplating taking this role, the head of the organization said "Give it 6 months; you'll know."  So we agreed to review things in 6 months on a weekend away with my wife of 42+ years, the ever-captivating Diane.  It's coming up in a couple days now, and we will examine how the last 6 months have gone. This first 6 months living apart has been both difficult and encouraging.  On this weekend away, we will try to ferret out what has gone well, what needs to change, what is critical, and what we can live with.  I expect that the weekend will result in a proposal for my boss (and his).  May God grant acceptance of whatever we put forward.

One of the things that has characterized my last 6 months has been study and reflection on how God works in my life through circumstances.  I have time to read, and long for fellowship outside the four walls of this 585 S.F. apartment.  So I have wasted less time while here, and have invested time in reading and in group Bible studies which get me up and out, away from the internet and cable.  (Oh, and I don't actually have cable here.  Internet, yes, but I use a digital antenna, and subscribe to Hulu and Netflix via a Roku device.  Much less expensive and a lot more hipster.  :)

In my reading time, I have been enjoying a book that the Missus has recommended from her book club - A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles.  Delightful!  There are several favorite quotes that I have marked but perhaps the most personal and profound is this one, about something he calls the Confederacy of the Humbled (of which I am a lifetime member, regularly reinforced by circumstance.)

[... ] the Confederacy of the Humbled is a close-knit brotherhood whose members travel with no outward markings, but who know each other at a glance. For having fallen suddenly from grace, those in the Confederacy share a certain perspective. Knowing beauty, influence, fame, and privilege to be borrowed rather than bestowed, they are not easily impressed. They are not quick to envy or take offense. They certainly do not scour the papers in search of their own names. They remain committed to living among their peers, but they greet adulation with caution, ambition with sympathy, and condecension with an inward smile.

That, dear reader, is right on the money.  Would that each of us could learn this lesson early and often.  I understand now how valuable humility is and how unreliable human affirmation can be.  There is a verse to an old hymn that I go back to often to remind myself that human approval is fickle; it is God's approval that matters, no one else's.  It goes like this:

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art

So as I continue in a less than desirable situation, trying hard to make the best of it, to find the silver lining in it, I will embrace the humbling & look to God for comfort.